


i wanna kiss your neck and make you purple all over

by silksoo



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other members are briefly mentioned, Piercings, Porn With Plot, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life, Smut, a lil bit of crack in there too, aussie line live in australia, but that’s just due to my writing style, changbins a thick hottie, hyunjin is emotional sry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-04-06 07:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19057633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silksoo/pseuds/silksoo
Summary: “i guess,” changbin responded, “but seeing you after all this time reminded me how much i love it here.”and even though that line was cheesy, hyunjin felt his knees almost buckle for the nth time that day. before he knew it himself, seo changbin, his best friend, was most surely going to be the death of hwang hyunjin for the next few months. and hwang hyunjin was definitely not ready for it.





	i wanna kiss your neck and make you purple all over

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is but please just take it while i cry myself to sleep ty.
> 
> i wanted to write top changbin and this is what happened.
> 
> you’re welcome i guess
> 
> ps i wrote sections of this at different times so if it doesn’t make sense in some parts you know why
> 
> pps this fic is utter trash i’m sorry

it’s been almost two years today since hyunjin has last seen his best friend.

 

almost two years since the day seo changbin left korea to go to an international college..

 

six hundred and forty two days.

 

yes, it’s been that long since hwang hyunjin said “see you soon” to his closest friend, even though that _soon_ never came until now. the older told him he’d visit after his first year finished off, but turned out he couldn’t make it due to ‘personal problems’. something to do with his friend chris that he rooms with. hyunjin always wondered what it was like down there.

 

how different australia was from korea. he wondered what school was like, if changbin made nice friends, (maybe even worried if he found a significant other), and if he even enjoyed learning about whatever the hell he majored in. hyunjin remembered the days before changbin left, them just hanging out nonstop, those times probably being some of the most memorable days of his life. he remembered when changbin jokingly called their outings ‘dates’, resulting in hyunjin wishing the older meant that. oh yeah, that was a thing. the tiny crush hyunjin somehow realized he had on changbin just days before the older left.

 

but enough reminiscing— because today was special for hyunjin. today was the day he was finally going to see his best friend again. and before you ask; _but why didn’t hyunjin just keep in touch with his friend through call and text?_ , well, they tried. they kept a good streak of video chatting every so often, but then school became a main priority, and friendships either stayed maintained because you saw them all the time, or you practically lived with the person. also known as the reason why hyunjin and seungmin became closer than ever over these past two years.

 

but it’s okay now, because hyunjin was seeing changbin today. he was going to pick him up from the airport and bring him to his apartment for two months while he visits his family. hyunjin had known about this upcoming reunion for a few months now, and he might’ve been deeply planning for changbin’s return since then. he even cleaned his apartment three times that day just to make sure.

 

_seungmin has even said a few nasty things to him when he checked over the younger’s bedroom one more time, making hyunjin realize how pathetic he was being at the moment._

 

but other than that, and the clammy feeling overcoming his body, hyunjin was ecstatic. he felt himself jitter embarrassingly in his seat, seeing that there were five minutes left before the plane was supposed to arrive. he bit his lip in anticipation, hoping that the people sitting next to him weren’t judging him much. it was killing him inside when he was counting down the seconds until the plane would be here, hoping that nothing bad was happening. he didn’t want to let his thoughts get the best of him.

 

fast forward a bit— the plane lands and hyunjin feels like he’s about to piss himself. not literally, but in a sense that he’s excited out of his mind.

 

his heart beated rapidly for when passengers were making their way out, hyunjin excitedly texting his friends about how changbin could come out any second now. he didn't know why he was anticipating this so much, but when you haven’t seen your best friend that you lowkey had a crush on for two years, it becomes exhilarating at moments like these.

 

it was when hyunjin saw changbin striding out of the lane with his luggage, he had to do a double take.

 

he almost didn’t even recognize him.

 

and other than the fact changbin was seemingly shorter than the last time hyunjin saw him, nonchalantly making his way over to the seats,

 

he was hot. _so_ fucking hot.

 

like— _let me drop on my knees and beg for you_ hot. well, maybe hyunjin was over exaggerating a bit, because this is the first time he’s seen changbin in two years, but that was not unknown to his personality. maybe it was the excitement that heightened his senses ten times more. he couldn’t tell what exactly changed so much about changbin, but maybe he just hadn’t seen his face in a long time. or his hair, or his arms, or his shoulders, or anything really. but hyunjin couldn’t stop staring. something about him was just intriguing. maybe it was the almost tight black tee he was wearing, or the fact he was carrying large bags hyunjin knew he couldn’t pick up with one arm. maybe it was the small silver chain hanging around his neck, or the white cap he had on, covering the raven hair hyunjin remembered him having since forever. and in conclusion, changbin never looked this intimidating before. maybe the shit down in australia was different than this. hyunjin assumed this was what it was all about.

 

but once hyunjin finally got to have a look at the older’s face, he felt his heart do a double knot, if that’s even possible.

 

because changbin definitely gained weight since the last time hyunjin saw him, but the younger definitely wasn’t upset about that. changbin looked healthier, older; the way his cheeks filled out when he smiled and how his face was a perfect tan color, the way there was slight stubble above his reddish lips, and the way his chocolate brown eyes looked right back up at hyunjin with excitement, hyunjin felt himself fall into an even deeper hole than he was in before. he didn’t know exactly what this hole was yet, but it was sure something he’d have a hard time getting out of.

 

it was when changbin suddenly asked, “um, hyunjinnie?” when hyunjin finally came back to his senses. and perhaps he reddened even hotter than changbin looking was right now.

 

“hey!” hyunjin stuttered out, his heart beating a mile a minute. he cleared his throat, “changbin hyung! it’s been so, _so_ long.”

 

“you’ve gotten taller, i see.” changbin then did a once over hyunjin’s presence, and that definitely did not do good things to the younger. _god_ , even his voice was perfect since then.

 

“doesn’t seem like the same case for you,” hyunjin tried playing back, seeing if something from their old relationship was still there. and thank the lord there was, as his heart almost fluttered out of his chest when changbin returned with a giggle. hyunjin tried not to sputter right there at the older male’s cuteness.

 

a beat passed.

 

“so,” changbin shrugged, well, attempted to, only because he had an inhumane amount of bags piled on his arms. it took hyunjin a moment to realize what he meant, only yelping out a small ‘oh!’ before helping changbin put down the luggage. the airport was starting to get a bit crowded by now.

 

and hyunjin didn’t expect changbin to then engulf the taller’s narrow body in a strong hug, patting the life out of his back. hyunjin quickly hugged back, feeling the other squeeze a bit harder when he did that. it felt genuine and changbin was warm, regrettingly smelling like pine and cinnamon. hyunjin felt like he was going to melt right then and there.

 

the smile on changbin’s face when he let go was something hyunjin never wanted to look away from, just like everything else, it was perfect. it completed his look that day, and the brunette didn’t know what to do other than stare.

 

but his mouth seemed to work faster than his brain, stating:

 

“here, let me take your stuff and we can head home. i’m guessing your flight was tiresome?”

 

“i guess,” changbin responded, a beat of hesitation, “but seeing you after all this time reminded me how much i love it here.”

 

and even though that line was cheesy, hyunjin felt his knees almost buckle for the nth time that day. before he knew it himself, seo changbin, his best friend, was most surely going to be the death of hwang hyunjin for the next few months. and hwang hyunjin was definitely _not_ ready for it.

 

——

 

the first week was pretty much hell and heaven for hyunjin.

 

changbin stayed at his apartment and they caught up on normal things like school life, family, friends, hobbies, etc.

 

which, by the way, hyunjin learned lots of things changbin would’ve never done two years ago.

 

“yeah, i’ve been bulking up with my roommate for about six months now,” changbin said in between bites of his sandwich, the two sitting by a window of a coffee shop downtown.

 

“really? is that why you don’t look like a baby anymore?” hyunjin attempted at looking smug but the thought of changbin at the gym gave him thoughts he shouldn’t have in public.

 

changbin stopped chewing. “that, and puberty stopped— finally. i never thought i’d be going through that shit till twenty one. look at this,” he pointed to his stubble, “i’m fucking proud of this.” and hyunjin laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.

 

a few moments pass where hyunjin stared at the bulk of changbin’s arm and really thought of what it could do to him, but then stop to look away right after because changbin’s his _friend_ and he doesn’t want to seem perverted. it’s only been three days since changbin’s been staying with him and he already can’t stop the sexual thoughts from flowing. he knows he’s pathetic, but something about the fact hyunjin hadn’t had sex in months was really bothering him now.

 

other than that, changbin seemed to mature a lot since two years passed and it was reasonable— as the last time they saw each other, they were just freshly adults. hyunjin remembered a time where his friend was anything _but_ intimidating. when the black haired male was short, scrawny, and shy. maybe changbin was still quiet, but that didn’t take away from the fact that he looked healthy and attractive. it made hyunjin wonder if he ever changed himself. he wondered if changbin noticed anything different about him.

 

but back to sexual frustration, the younger never thought he’d feel so attracted to his best friend. maybe his feelings had strengthened since then, because they hadn’t seen each other for almost two years. maybe hyunjin was just desperate, and, changbin being the one person he was attracted to, it only made sense for him to feel sexually for the older. it still didn’t mask the fact he felt like a huge pervert, though.

 

“but um,” changbin cleared his throat, reminding hyunjin of their initial conversation. “what have you been doing? you’ve been looking a lot more outgoing than when i last saw you.”

 

hyunjin laughed nervously, “well, i’ve been really into competitive dancing, and it’s going pretty well i guess.”

 

a brief pause.

 

“ _i guess_? hyunjinnie, last time i saw you, you were like… god tier at that stuff. you make ballet look like a piece of cake.” changbin scoffed.

 

the blush rising up the younger’s cheeks was unstoppable. “if you say so,” he replied, shrugging.

 

hyunjin didn’t want to admit he kind of loved when changbin’s eyebrow twitched at that response. “cocky ass,” he muttered, though hyunjin heard it bright as day.

 

he decided to not respond, enjoying the rest of his lunch by staring at changbin eating his sandwich. which, other than the fact it was a little embarrassing, it was changbin. so it was all fine.

  


a few days later, when the two were getting ready to go out with their friends, hyunjin never thought he’d feel so frustrated.

 

and look— before you say anything —here’s why.

 

to put it shortly: changbin shirtless in nothing but gym shorts.

 

hyunjin would’ve dropped on his knees right there.

 

“woah, put that away, jinnie.” seungmin, the older male’s roommate, came up behind him. the brunette tried to hide the blush on his cheeks.

 

“shut up, please.” hyunjin whispered, watching changbin throw on a shirt over his toned body like some creepy stalker. good thing changbin was in the bathroom, or he would’ve easily heard them. “he’s so hot, seungmin-ah.”

 

“i see you have a type?” seungmin patted hyunjin’s shoulder, “short and thick?”

 

“sure,” hyunjin absentmindedly responded, finally prying his eyes away from the bathroom. “i’m such a fucking perv.”

 

“oh, hell yeah you are,” the brunette chuckled, sitting down next to hyunjin. “but just don’t do anything with him while i’m home, please.”

 

“you don’t need to worry about that.” hyunjin was sweating now. “not happening.”

 

seungmin laughed once again, “tell me that when he’s shoving himself down your throat. i know how deprived you’ve been,” he stood up while snickering, and left.

 

hyunjin gulped at that, feeling like he was on fire. he really tried not to picture was seungmin said in his head, but it was already too late when he felt mild arousal pool in his stomach. he was in trouble.

 

“hey,” a slightly raspy voice, changbin’s, interrupted. hyunjin yelped in surprise, probably aware of how stupid he looked in that moment. the amused look on changbin’s face wasn’t helping.

 

“hey,” hyunjin’s mouth felt dry.

 

“seungmin’s coming with us, right?” of course the older was oblivious, maybe hyunjin was just worrying.

 

“mhm! and so are jisung, woojin, jeongin, and minho. don’t worry, they’ll love you.” hyunjin tried to reassure, patting changbin’s shoulder. it was warm, almost too warm.

 

“i’m not scared,” changbin scoffed, taking just a tiny step closer to hyunjin. and the taller didn’t mean to swallow again so loud, but his heart was starting to pound at that. he needed to snap out of it before he embarrassed himself.

 

“really?” hyunjin’s voice came out almost shaky, him internally cursing himself for that.

 

“yeah, i thought you knew i was talkative, jinnie.” changbin fake pouted, but it was probably the cutest thing hyunjin’s ever seen. he felt changbin reach up and ruffle the younger’s dark hair, the blush coming up to his own cheeks once again. “i’ll be fine, stop looking so worried for _me_ , okay?”

 

that once again reminded the taller that changbin was really going to be the death of him, and he still didn’t know what to do about it.

 

“okay,” the younger replied, keeping his eyes locked on changbin’s pretty brown ones. he felt like crying for some reason. he didn’t know why.

 

and hyunjin still had a whole night ahead of him.

  


woojin, of course, chose the worst night club in seoul to go to, but then again, hyunjin hasn’t been to many night clubs.

 

the music was probably rattling hyunjin’s body from the moment he walked in, already meeting eyes with jisung and minho. two people seungmin introduced him to in his freshman year of college. sometimes it was hard to tell if jisung and minho were actually best friends, but they never seemed to confirm their relationship.

 

“hyunjinnie!” jisung shouted, though it was hard to hear in the club.

 

“jisung, minho!” hyunjin waved before grabbing changbin, who was currently talking to seungmin and woojin.

 

“what?” changbin reacted, turning towards where hyunjin was looking.

 

“meet jisung and minho,” hyunjin said as a-matter-of-factedly, taking changbin by the wrist and walking him towards the two other males. seungmin and woojin followed behind.

 

“is this who you’ve been talking about for so long, hyunjin?” jisung asked, smirking like a little shit, as usual.

 

hyunjin hoped the dim lighting in the club covered his quickly heating face, but it definitely didn’t cover the smirk forming on changbin’s.

 

“sure am, i’m changbin.” the shortest male turned from hyunjin to jisung, shaking the other male’s hand. “you must be jisung?”

 

“yup! and this is my friend, minho.” the blonde chirped, gesturing to the taller male beside him.

 

“nice to meet you,” minho politely said, and then it kicked off from there.

 

they all eventually made their way to the bar, it only being an hour after they got there. hyunjin was already bored, but he stayed for changbin if he was being honest. speaking of changbin, the older was chatting with his friends ever since he got there. and even though that meant less attention on hyunjin, the brunette still got to watch his friend without him noticing. hyunjin picked up his drink and took a small sip, hoping a buzzing sensation would meet him soon enough.

 

“so, what do you do again, changbin?” jisung questioned, taking a sip from his own drink.

 

“i’ve been studying in australia,” changbin replied, “for approximately… two years.” he nodded.

 

“how much longer do you plan to stay?”

 

“i’ve been thinking about that, honestly. i don’t know if i wanna go for the last two years of college or stay in korea.” he explained under another bottle of soju. “what do you guys do?”

 

that’s when hyunjin decided to tune out at that part. it was interesting to hear what changbin was doing away from home, but it also pierced the younger’s heart a bit at the thought of him leaving again. he had less than two months with his best friend and he didn’t even know what he was going to do after that. changbin was very important to him, different from any of his other friends, as you know. well, maybe because hyunjin had taken a liking to him, but still. changbin was special and hyunjin hated that he felt selfish towards him. he didn’t want changbin to leave again, and he cursed himself for thinking about it when they’ve only stayed with each other for four days. they had the whole summer to catch up, and hyunjin needed to remember that.

 

but a voice in the brunette’s brain told him to not just treat it like any other summer. that this one should be just as important to changbin as it is to himself. he wanted to make an impression on the older, and not just because he wanted him to stay. by ‘impression’, he wanted to confess his feelings, only because he knew he would never be satisfied if he didn’t tell him how he felt. but at the same time, hyunjin doesn’t know when he wants to do it. he doesn’t want to do it early on because he’s not even one hundred percent sure his feelings are still there. second of all, he doesn’t want to make things awkward between them if changbin doesn’t like him back. it’s just common sense. and maybe a little bit of overthinking.

 

at that, hyunjin groaned to himself and took another swig of his glass.

 

“don’t drink too much,” he then felt a hand place itself over the small of his back, leaning in unconsciously, then turning his head to see that it was changbin’s.

 

“i won’t,” hyunjin said behind his glass, hoping it was doing the job of hiding his blush. it’s not like it would matter, because changbin was just looking out for him. which did many things to the younger’s heart, he may say. he decided to take another sip of his drink.

 

and those two sips soon turned into two glasses— which is exactly what changbin told him not to do. but hyunjin did anything to get the older off his mind, halfway down a third glass before woojin grabbed his arm, jolting him out of his seat.

 

“come dance, hyunjin-ah.” woojin said, the younger feeling slight nausea from the sudden movement.

 

before he could respond, the eldest already pulled him out to the center of the room. he fell into a crowded space where all of his friends were mindlessly moving to the music, but for some reason, he couldn’t find the heart to do it himself.

 

his tall figure was able to skim over some bodies only to see a shorter one come stumbling toward him. it was changbin, once again.

 

hyunjin would’ve laughed, only because changbin was the one who told _him_ not to get drunk. except now, changbin was clearly drunk out of his mind. he also would’ve laughed by how god was just putting them together at the weirdest times. hyunjin would be alone for one minute and changbin would be with him for the next. well, it wasn’t like the taller was mad about it, he loved spending time with changbin. but it seemed repetitive, almost. maybe changbin just wanted to see hyunjin himself.

 

the older male grabbed onto hyunjin’s shoulder, eyes half opened and cheeks flushed. hyunjin tried his hardest not to coo at how cute he looked, how small.

 

“hyunjinnie,” he slurred, running his fingers through his hair.

 

“yeah?” hyunjin responded, finally feeling the lightness of being tipsy fill his senses. if there’s one more thing hyunjin could process right now, is that this wasn’t going to be good.

 

“you’re so annoying,” he whined, leaning against the taller for support. hyunjin tried to ignore the feeling of his heart speeding up a few beats at how cute the older was being.

 

“what?” hyunjin asked, unconsciously wrapping his arms around his best friend. changbin was warm, heating up the younger in an instant.

 

the next few words that tumbled out of changbin’s mouth came out muffled and hard to hear, since they were both standing in a nightclub filled with too many people. but hyunjin couldn’t help but wonder what he said, wishing that he was listening a little more intently in that moment.

 

“i’m so fucking tired,” changbin then groaned, placing his head on the taller male’s shoulder. their closeness was starting to make hyunjin feel even warmer than he was before, swallowing thickly while patting changbin’s head. he must be drunk out of his mind. “i’m so jet lagged, it’s not even cute.”

 

 _hard to say that when you’re standing right here_ , hyunjin’s drunk mind wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut.

 

“do you wanna go outside?” the brunette asked instead, feeling changbin’s weight begin to lean on him. hyunjin didn’t know if he liked or disliked how heavy the older was, but he was worried he would stumble over because of it.

 

“i wanna stay with you,” changbin mumbled, and hyunjin almost didn’t catch it. the older didn’t sound like himself, like he was dreaming or something.

 

“i’m gonna take you outside,” hyunjin shouted over the music, suddenly feeling like he was suffocating in the club. he didn’t tell woojin or seungmin that he was leaving, but he didn’t think of that as he gripped onto changbin’s wrist. his heart was beating rapidly, the heat broiling at the tips of his ears.

 

once hyunjin found the door, a wave of cool air hit him and he suddenly felt a little less intoxicated than when he was in there. he pulled changbin out, who stumbled behind him. he looked exhausted out of his mind.

 

“you good?” hyunjin sat the older down against the wall of the building, never letting go of his hand. he didn’t really want to.

 

“amazing,” changbin replied, leaning his head against hyunjin’s thinner shoulder. their intimacy right now was undeniable, and the younger didn’t know what to think of it. he blamed the butterflies in his stomach on the alcohol.

 

“you don’t look amazing,” the younger responded, which was kind of a lie. changbin always looked good no matter what. hyunjin then leaned his head on changbin’s, sighing.

 

“you don’t need to tell me,” the shorter male sniffled, wiping his nose with his arm.

 

silence overcame them, hyunjin breathing in the scent of changbin’s hair. it still smelled like him, and maybe a little bit of sweat. hyunjin never thought he would get tired of it. he yawned, realizing this has been the closest he’s felt to his friend since he came back. it’s been like five days and now hyunjin feels their bond, just through leaning their heads on each other and whatnot. he smiled to himself, scooting a little closer to his friend. the friend he very much wanted to call more than just a friend. and when changbin reacted by scooting even closer, hyunjin didn’t know if it was that or the alcohol that made him feel overly happy.

 

——

 

one week soon turned into a month, also known as the halfway point of the summer.

 

otherwise the fact hyunjin had been trying to focus on preparing for his junior year of college, but that didn’t really seem to happen much. sure, he was able to discuss with seungmin on what he needed to require for it therefore, but other things seemed to be important. like visiting family and going on little one day vacations. school was stressful, and hyunjin would rather be taking a break than revisiting his studies.

 

the first month didn’t feel that long for hyunjin, only because a month wasn’t that long. that and the fact that changbin was leaving in a month made his heart ache terribly.

 

they’ve been so affectionate lately too, which didn’t help the situation either.

 

ever since they went out on that night, they’ve been joined by the hip, just like their old days together. hyunjin took changbin home and changed him into proper clothes, caring for him even if he was drunk himself. the next morning, changbin told him that he was forever grateful for the younger and that made his heart melt, suddenly wanting to do anything to make changbin say that to him again. but he didn’t have to, because changbin naturally became more touchy with him anyway.

 

it started with the subtle hands on his shoulder or waist when they went out in public together. like when the two of them went to go visit changbin’s parents; the older was just close to hyunjin the whole time. he didn’t know why he liked it so much either. and even though hyunjin was fairly taller than changbin, he felt much smaller than the older when he was almost protective over him. maybe it was because changbin just radiated intimidation whenever in public, as that was something hyunjin never had. but those small touches started to let the younger dream that they were possessive, that changbin was doing them to protect him. he really kind of wished it was that.

 

but later on, it moved onto caressing, somewhat. changbin often pinched hyunjin’s cheek and ruffled his hair, even calling the brunette cute in some instances. hyunjin wished he could return the compliment back but he was usually too busy hiding his blush to do so. changbin naturally made him feel vulnerable, but he wasn’t mad about it. in some circumstances, he even wondered if he _himself_ could make changbin feel vulnerable.

 

but nonetheless, hyunjin’s feelings for the older only skyrocketed since then. he definitely knew now that he was going to have to confess his feelings by the end of august or it would kill him. he didn’t want changbin to leave him for god knows how long while he still had contained feelings for him. that was something he really didn’t want to stand by. he just didn’t know how he was going to do it yet, though.

 

today was definitely a reminder for hyunjin that he was whipped out of his mind, and the result of that are stupid decisions. sure, maybe he was just overreacting, but it sure got him thinking for a long time.

 

it was an easy day, hyunjin and changbin hanging out in the younger’s apartment while seungmin was at work. the two were watching something on the television, them fairly close to each other. changbin perhaps was lying with his back pressed against hyunjin’s chest. no big deal. it’s just that hyunjin hoped changbin didn’t hear his heartbeat through his back.

 

“hey, hyunjin, have you ever thought of modeling?” changbin brought up out of the blue, munching on his bowl of popcorn. his eyes were on the screen, and his legs shifted against the taller’s.

 

“um, sometimes i guess.” hyunjin shrugged, reaching into the bowl. “why?”

 

“i think you’d be good for it,” changbin replied, “you’re very good looking, hyunjin.”

 

thankfully hyunjin could get away with blushing this time.

 

“thanks, but i’m not as good as you think i am.” hyunjin said bashfully. changbin scoffed.

 

“yeah, you are. you’re tall, well built, have prominent features…” changbin craned his neck to look at him more. “and you just look good all the time. there.”

 

hyunjin might’ve forgotten to breathe then. he didn’t know how to respond at the excessive amount of compliments he was receiving, and it was doing a great amount of things to him in the moment. it almost felt like changbin was doing this on purpose, but then he remembered that his friend wasn’t the one who liked him. hyunjin liked changbin, and that’s that.

 

“as if you don’t look good either?” hyunjin let slip from his mouth, suddenly feeling embarrassed that he kind of admitted to telling changbin he was pretty too. he wasn’t lying, but he just didn’t want changbin to find that out now. and when the older laughed at that response, the space between them seemed even more suffocating.

 

“you think i look good too?” changbin raised his brows and at this point, hyunjin couldn’t stop the blush from rising up his cheeks. he could’ve sworn he saw changbin blush as well, though.

 

“of course, i’m kind of jealous of you if i’m honest.” hyunjin let his mouth run as his heart almost stopped at the confession. “i mean— i’m jealous of how you’re not aware of how good you look? like you don’t really pay attention to yourself and— i should stop talking.” he covered his face with his palms as changbin giggled against him.

 

“no worries, jinnie. i get it.” changbin removed hyunjin’s hands from his face, and the younger was met with the sight of his friend with cheeks almost as red as his own. if this didn’t melt hyunjin’s heart, he didn’t know what would.

 

“you do?” the brunette dumbly asked, not knowing how to react to this. he just locked eyes with the older for a moment, getting lost in them as he always did. it was moments like these that hyunjin really appreciated how cute his friend was. how he’d think of even _kissing_ him sometimes. he hated himself for thinking of changbin’s lips like that. he just wished he wasn’t so whipped for him. he then watched as changbin’s warm brown eyes lowered down to something else on hyunjin’s face, suddenly feeling even more conscious. but by the way changbin’s eyes lidded over at whatever he was looking at, it made hyunjin feel like he was going to suffocate right there. a part of him was thinking it was his lips.

 

“yeah,” changbin said slowly, and hyunjin felt like panicking when the older’s foot started softly caressing his leg. that was when he realized he was inches away from changbin’s face, not even lost in his eyes anymore. what the fuck was going on?

 

hyunjin was hoping he was imagining this when changbin gradually began to move closer to his face. he inched his body to turn towards the younger male’s front, letting his body easily move closer to the other’s. time seemed to slow down.

 

hyunjin wanted to scream, maybe even ask what changbin was doing, but his brain couldn’t get him to do so. he just stared at the older’s dark eyes, how they seemed to be in a different state that hyunjin’s never seen them in before. there was a long, silent pause before changbin attempted to move closer than he’d ever been to the younger male before, right onto what hyunjin thought were his lips.

 

emphasize: _attempted._

 

because right as hyunjin realized what the raven haired male was doing, the door to his apartment swooped open. quite loudly, he may add. so loud that it made hyunjin jump in his seat, accidentally hitting his head against changbin’s nose. changbin hissed, grasping his nose as his body tensed. hyunjin gasped in reaction, looking behind him to see seungmin walking in with a bunch of bags.

 

“are you okay?” hyunjin carefully asked changbin as he watched the other hold his nose, their legs untangling. the whole atmosphere from before had disappeared.

 

“did hyunjin bite too hard, changbin hyung?” seungmin snickered as he dropped the bags in the kitchen. hyunjin glared at his friend before turning back to the shorter male, who let go of his nose.

 

“thank goodness there’s no blood,” changbin smiled nonetheless, a wonderful sight. “i wouldn’t want to stain your blanket.”

 

hyunjin ignored the weird thought in his head that said he perhaps wouldn’t mind if changbin bled on his furniture. “good, i’m really sorry about that, though.”

 

“don’t be, it wasn’t the worst i’ve had,” changbin laughed, moving to stand up. “i just need an ice pack. you got my bridge pretty good.”

 

“well,” the younger scratched his neck, feeling empty without changbin wrapped around him. “my friends say i’m strong-headed, but i don’t know if this is what they mean by that.”

 

changbin laughed heartily at that, making his way to the fridge. hyunjin never wanted to hear something more than changbin’s laugh.

 

and hyunjin also didn’t want to think about what happened between them, what it was and what it meant. he hoped changbin wouldn’t mention it after he sat back down.

 

——

 

in the end of the day, changbin didn’t mention it once.

 

and even though a small fraction of hyunjin was sad he didn’t, he felt relieved overall.

 

but anyways, back to normal life, hyunjin had work today and he almost forgot about his summer job. it wasn’t anything to marvel about, just posing as an assistant dance instructor for little kids. his former instructor offered him the job and to hyunjin’s excitement, he’d get to watch kids dance for a whole summer. and to hyunjin, that was better than staying home all the time.

 

well, so were free yoga classes for a year, but he decided to keep his excitement about that to himself.

 

hyunjin had been looking forward to meeting the kids since he learned about the job offering, his friends even teasing him about him being a mom, or something like that. which wasn’t really the case; hyunjin just found enjoyment in being around kids. they’re just really entertaining, okay.

 

“they have a gym at where i work,” hyunjin slapped changbin’s bicep as he grabbed his car keys, throwing a bag over shoulder. changbin was lounging on the couch, scrolling on his phone. the hit caught the older’s attention, him looking up at hyunjin with an unreadable expression. he took off his glasses, which, by the way, looked adorable on him.

 

“okay?” changbin turned off his phone, full attention on hyunjin, who stood above him.

 

hyunjin couldn’t help but bite his lip to suppress the smile threatening to form on his face. “do you want to come or not? i know you’re all obsessed with this beefing up shit.”

 

changbin laughed, “i’m sure the gyms in seoul aren’t nearly as good as the ones in melbourne.”

 

“you’ve never been to a korean gym? i’m pretty sure they’re exactly the same, but i’d believe it if you have high standards.” hyunjin raised his hands up beside his head, keys jangling.

 

the way changbin smiled at that made hyunjin want to scream. when the older didn’t respond right away, hyunjin let himself smile as well.

 

“so, is that a yes or a no?”

 

changbin at least pretended like he was deciding if he wanted to go or not, but hyunjin knew he convinced him now. and hyunjin knew changbin was acting like a little shit just to tease him, so maybe one more slap to the older’s arm wouldn’t hurt. changbin only stood up at that, which didn’t do him very much justice only because he was short. as hyunjin was going to say something to tease the older male more, a finger was pressed against his lips.

 

“shut up before i say no.” changbin warned, taking the finger off of hyunjin’s face in the blink of an eye. that sudden action made the brunette heat up all different kinds of ways, and as changbin turned around to go get his slides, hyunjin touched his lips like changbin’s finger was still there. yeah, it was pathetic, but something about it made feel hyunjin all hot and he didn’t know why.

 

but as soon as changbin was ready and out the door, the thought slowly made its way to the back of hyunjin’s head.

  


teaching little kids how to dance was definitely more exhausting than hyunjin thought. wait, no. scratch that. teaching little kids how to _behave_ was definitely something completely different than what he thought it would be. no wonder all of his friends were teasing him about kids. they’re probably the worst group of people to teach. and the worst part, getting them to stop talking was more difficult than all of the years of training hyunjin had to go through. he didn’t remember being this annoying when he was the kid’s ages.

 

but nonetheless, there was always something positive to come out of everything, right?

 

like looking through the windows to see changbin doing reps in the gym if he looked a certain angle, or seeing changbin wave to him through the room every time he went to get water. seeing the way his best friend’s arms glistened under the bright lights in the building, hyunjin never felt so attracted to one person.

 

even on the times changbin would notice hyunjin staring somehow, though they were in completely different rooms. hyunjin would heat up and try to act like he wasn’t looking, but they both knew it wasn’t true. sometimes hyunjin wondered if changbin knew hyunjin had been attracted to him like a magnet.

 

“so i’ll be seeing you all next week?” the dance instructor, her name momo, said to all of the children. they looked exhausted, and hyunjin wanted to laugh. sure, they were just little kids, but hyunjin was a twenty year old man who probably worked harder than most of them. all of them, even. he didn’t know he would despise kids so much after one day. he didn’t remember them being this bratty either. but, he at least tried to stay a little hopeful, as it was only the first week of their lessons.

 

they all waved their goodbyes as parents sat outside of the studio, ready to take leave with their children. hyunjin let out a well held in sigh, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

 

“why did i ask for this job?” he muttered to himself, practically flopping onto the floor to sit against the mirror. he heard his friend snicker.

 

“because it’s good pay,” she sat next to him, leaning her head back. “besides, don’t you like kids?”

 

hyunjin laughed, “i did until today, that’s for sure.”

 

there was a pause of silence, hyunjin breathing in the humid air of the dance studio. he closed his eyes, a headache resting at the back of his skull.

 

“who was that guy you came with?” momo suddenly asked, breaking hyunjin from his little rest. he opened his eyes and looked at his friend before realizing who she was talking about. he tried to ignore the way his heart beated faster at the thought.

 

“my friend, changbin.” hyunjin replied.

 

“i’ve never seen him around, is that the friend you were talking about meeting this summer?” hyunjin was even surprised momo remembered him talking about that. the younger hadn’t mentioned anything about changbin in months to her.

 

“yeah,” he sat up more when he saw changbin move in sight from the window of the room, who was sweating immensely. his face was red and his hair was pushed back. hyunjin swallowed, trying not to get carried away. “what about him?”

 

the brunette could tell momo was watching changbin too. hyunjin couldn’t blame her, he just had that charm, but something about it didn’t sit right with him. he decided to stand up to shake it all out. now would be a nice time to leave.

 

“why don’t you introduce me to him?” momo then said, grabbing her bag and her phone from the speaker. _what?_ “he seems to be finishing up anyway.”

 

and right before hyunjin could respond with _why the hell do you need to meet changbin?_ , the said male had walked into the studio. looking even more like heaven up close, hyunjin may add. he probably would’ve begged right there if he was honest. changbin just looked really good right now, and there were too many things going on in his head.

 

“hyunjin-ah,” he breathed out, throwing his used towel over his shoulder. “we can head out now. i saw that you were done with your class.”

 

hyunjin smiled, not really knowing how to respond. he was too caught up in staring at the older’s biceps when momo pushed past him, already holding out her hand too enthusiastically.

 

“hi, you must be changbin!” she said, hyunjin wanting to grimace at the way the other male awkwardly took her hand in his to shake it. hyunjin gulped, feeling his heart beat undeniably fast. “i’m momo.”

 

“hi,” changbin said, looking over at hyunjin for a split second. the taller almost didn’t catch it, but then he wondered why the other did it in the first place. he tried not to get uneasy right here and right now.

 

“hyunjin and i were just wrapping up things,” she clapped her hands together to demonstrate, and that’s when hyunjin went to go grab his stuff. he felt like she was going to say some embarrassing things about him and he didn’t want to be present for that.

 

“i’m going to the bathroom,” hyunjin said quickly, his voice almost faltering as he took his belongings with him. he realized he must’ve looked stupid, but he tried not to care. the growing pit in his stomach was starting to bother him.

 

once hyunjin got to the bathroom and looked into the mirror, he saw how worn out he was. his dark hair was disheveled, eyes droopy and body all sweaty. he looked gross, and wondered how changbin could still manage to look amazing before and after working out. he groaned to himself, locking himself in a stall and leaning his head against it.

 

hyunjin was screwed. he was screwed for the remaining three weeks of summer all because of seo changbin. he’d almost forgotten that this best friend of his wasn’t even probably attracted to him. they were friends since teens, for god’s sake. and it wouldn’t be unlikely for changbin to like _girls_ for that matter, and hyunjin forgot about that part! these doubts were always there, but they seemed to be masked by the fact that him and changbin were having chemistry. chemistry that was always there, just missed in the past two years. nothing changed between them, and hyunjin needed to quit thinking their chances together heightened. and he knew that he was overthinking it but there was nothing else he could do about it. momo literally just said hi to changbin and hyunjin already felt like having a nervous breakdown. what type of person was he becoming?

 

he closed his eyes and breathed in, not wanting to let the growing lump in his throat escape just yet. it was just so _frustrating_ , this, being perhaps in love with someone you know that probably doesn’t like you back. hyunjin was almost hopeless, but something inside of him stayed lit. he just hoped momo wasn’t trying to seduce his friend, or something childish like that. he hoped changbin didn’t change so much that he would be intrigued by that, because the younger knows him as the type of person not to go for that stuff.

 

“hey, hyunjin.” a sudden voice and door opening interrupted his thoughts and startling him. hyunjin didn’t even realize he’d been thinking for that long. “we should go.”

 

it was when the brunette realized changbin had walked into the bathroom, he made his way out of the stall slowly and regained control. he was a little glad he didn’t start crying like an idiot while in the stall.

 

“everything okay?” changbin questioned, eyebrows furrowed for the way hyunjin looked. the younger felt embarrassed, only responding with a slight nod and a scratch on his neck. the air between them was thick.

 

the two wordlessly made their way to the younger’s car, changbin oddly not saying anything about his encounter with momo. hyunjin felt too nervous to talk, so he just started the car quietly and began to drive home. it was hard to focus on the road while thinking about changbin, wanting to address what happened but he knew it wasn’t his business. he bit his lips to somehow suppress him from saying anything he may regret, but it was starting to get hard. he impatiently tapped his thumb on the steering wheel.

 

changbin seemed to notice, because the older then moved his hand onto hyunjin’s knee. hyunjin’s heart almost jumped out of his throat at the somewhat intimate action, a tiny gasp even escaping his mouth before he relaxed under the touch.

 

“you seem tense,” changbin read him like a book. “are you sure everything’s okay?”

 

“yeah.” hyunjin said, mouth parched.

 

changbin hummed in response, starting to rub small circles on hyunjin’s knee. the younger tried not to warm up at that, but something about it felt deep. deeper than a lot of interactions the two had before. hyunjin felt like slowing down, maybe even pulling over the car to ask what this was. but of course, he knew he couldn’t do it without tripping up. but the heat starting to spread throughout his body was becoming a distraction.

 

“she gave me her number,” changbin seemed to read the taller’s mind somehow, and hyunjin wanted to throw up. he felt like an idiot in front of changbin like this.

 

“did you… do anything with it?” hyunjin dared to ask.

 

“i told her i would text her,” changbin shrugged, looking out the window to his right. there was a slight pause, one where hyunjin’s heart was almost sinking, right before changbin smiled modestly, muttering, “but i’m not really interested.”

 

and if hyunjin wasn’t driving on the highway right now, he would’ve screamed. yeah, the older male didn’t say anything about liking hyunjin but the hand on his knee and the confirmation that changbin wasn’t interested in momo saved his breaking heart. he bit his lip one more time, now trying to stop the smile from forming on his face. he felt so stupid. the hope was still there, so that was good.

 

the ride went home smoothly after that, and hyunjin never thought he’d be so in love.

 

——

 

“i’m going out.”

 

was all seo changbin said before slamming the door to hyunjin’s apartment, startling the younger male. _was he mad?_ hyunjin thought, as overthinking was a recurring thing to him. but maybe changbin just closed the door harshly without being aware of it. hyunjin tried not to think much of it, only because it was stupid to do so. maybe changbin just needed his fresh air.

 

but he _always_ tells hyunjin where he’s going. and the fact that changbin was leaving in less than a week didn’t make the situation any better. the past three weeks were pretty uneventful, other than hyunjin’s friend group going to different cities in korea to get changbin feeling nostalgic. nothing really happened between them other than them sticking side by side through all of it. it felt natural, and hyunjin didn’t overthink about interactions they had with each other, which definitely lifted some stress off his shoulder.

 

but hyunjin also had to teach dance lessons every monday and saturday now, so that took up some of his time. he decided he wouldn’t take changbin along with him anymore because he didn’t want momo to try and do anything risky. and when she asked hyunjin why the shorter male wasn’t coming along anymore, hyunjin just said that he was spending time with his family.

 

which was partially true, as changbin often went to visit them on days he didn’t have anything to do. he also would spend time video calling his two friends from australia, chris and felix. hyunjin often didn’t listen to their conversations if they talked in korean (they usually spoke in english) because he would admittedly feel a little jealous. the three of them always had something to laugh about, and part of hyunjin believed that he liked talking to his australian friends more than himself. but hyunjin was just insecure like that.

 

other than that, everything was going smoothly. maybe there were a few night outings where hyunjin wouldn’t remember what the hell happened, but he doubted anything crazy happened without him knowing.

 

but anyways, this summer was already going by so fast and now hyunjin’s best friend was going to leave in four or so days. and sooner or later, the brunette would have to confess his feelings to changbin. the thought of that made his stomach tie knots, but a part of him hoped that changbin would feel the same.

 

seungmin also soon came out of his bedroom with an empty bowl, placing it on the counter of their small apartment. he walked over to hyunjin and sat down next to his friend, sighing intently.

 

“do you know where changbin is going?” hyunjin asked, leaning his head on his friend’s shoulder.

 

“wow, thanks for the warm welcome, and no. but i know where he’s going on friday.” seungmin scoffed a response, hyunjin lightly hitting his arm after. hyunjin huffed. “are you gonna tell him?”

 

hyunjin looked at seungmin, “tell him what?”

 

“you know what i mean, are you gonna tell him your dying love for him?” seungmin exaggerated, doing the most to tease the older. but, instead of it making hyunjin irritated, it only made his stomach do about two flips. the thought of confessing to changbin resurfaced in his head and he didn’t know what to think of it.

 

“i’m gonna have to,” hyunjin sighed, biting his lip nervously at the thought, “but i don’t know when and how.”

 

seungmin sighed as well, sitting up. he seemed to be done teasing his friend.

 

“don’t do it the day he leaves is all i can say.” seungmin said.

 

“i wasn’t planning on doing that anyway.” hyunjin tsked, “i was thinking of maybe two days before he leaves?”

 

“so… the day after tomorrow.”

 

a pause.

 

“the day after tomorrow?” hyunjin repeated in disbelief, just remembering how close changbin’s departure was. his heart sank, “shit.”

 

the way seungmin laughed didn’t make it any better. “don’t worry, hyunjinnie. i’m inviting the boys over that day as well, so be ready for that. i thought it would be nice to throw something for bin before he leaves.” the male shrugged.

 

“the day after tomorrow…” hyunjin repeated again. besides the fact that he felt really appreciative for seungmin for planning a small gathering for changbin, the thought of confessing to the older _that_ soon just hit him hard.

 

“hey, don’t worry too much about it. because i’m pretty damn sure changbin likes you too, by the way he’s always on you and stuff like that— you know what i mean.” seungmin patted his friend’s shoulder.

 

“that makes it even worse!” hyunjin almost shouted, “because what if he goes and embarrasses me about it?”

 

“you’re funny, hyunjin.” seungmin giggled, watching as the other visibly panicked. “changbin’s your closest friend. i’m sure he’ll take it nicely and accept it. just go in and hope for the best, it’s not like changbin is scary or anything.”

 

“but he is! if you look at seo changbin two years ago and seo changbin now, you’ll see the difference.” hyunjin exclaimed, “it hasn’t even been a full two months of reuniting with him yet and i know that things have changed. he looks and feels so different.”

 

“but you guys still have that special bond you told me about,” seungmin reassured, “and i’m sure he’ll act like the same person he was two years ago, especially around you. just because he matured a little, doesn’t mean he’s completely different now.”seungmin offered, shrugging like he wasn’t giving hyunjin an important lesson.

 

and the older male had to think about that for a moment. seungmin did make some points, but hyunjin’s nerves always liked to get the best of him. he thought of all the times changbin did some things that wouldn’t make it easy to believe the latter liked him, but there was something about changbin’s charm that made hyunjin think otherwise. sure, changbin knew hyunjin better than any other person, but it didn’t help the fact that the older male could just be naturally flirty now. he could just be flirting with hyunjin because he did that with _everybody_. and hyunjin can’t confront his friend about his feelings now as easily as he could’ve done two years ago— because his best friend was daunting and it scared him. who would’ve known; seo changbin, a stocky and cute boy just a mere few years ago, would turn into this buff, mature looking man? hyunjin didn’t know what kind of ritual he went through down in australia, but it sure changed his friend’s appearance quite a bit.

 

but nonetheless, something about changbin’s quick laughs and smiles, the times he would blush or even pout at hyunjin, made the tall male believe nothing really changed at all. in moments like those, changbin was still cuter than hyunjin remembered him being. the times where the older would be playful around hyunjin or others, showed that his old self was still there. it didn’t show as often as it used to, but hyunjin liked to believe he had the power of bringing the old changbin back sometimes.

 

“you still thinking about him?” seungmin interrupted hyunjin’s thoughts, the older male almost forgetting he was there.

 

“i think i’m okay,” hyunjin didn’t necessarily answer seungmin’s question, but more so his own.

 

“you’re ready to tell changbin?” seungmin seemed to read the brunette’s mind.

 

“well,” the thought still scared him. however, “i’ll find a way to do it without telling him. or looking at him.”

 

seungmin looked at him funny, opening his mouth to say something, but soon closed it instead, only nodding his head. he smiled pitifully, “good luck,” he said, then got up to go to the kitchen. hyunjin felt unsatisfied with that answer, but it will do.

  


changbin came home right after midnight that night, hyunjin in bed but still awake on his phone. he had lowkey been worrying about his friend all night, waiting for him to come home. not only that, but the dreaded day that was friday was inching closer. hyunjin kept telling himself not to worry, but it ended up not doing much.

 

and when he heard the front door to his apartment suddenly open, he never had to scramble to turn his phone off that fast ever. he quickly closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, hoping changbin wouldn’t walk in.

 

well, of course, hyunjin jinxed himself.

 

it was when the brunette heard the door to his room slowly open after a couple of shuffling noises, his heart began to race. he squeezed his eyes shut, daring himself not to move as he heard changbin’s feet patter on the carpeted floor. too many questions were flowing through hyunjin’s head, but he somehow was able to keep his body from shaking.

 

“hyunjin-ah,” changbin whispered, almost causing the younger to jump from the sudden noise. it sounded really close. “are you awake?”

 

hyunjin tried to relax when changbin said this, not wanting to give any evidence as to why the older was even here. but once the younger smelled a trace of marijuana on the other male, that’s when everything clicked in his brain. he tried not to panic when he heard changbin sit on the end of the bed, dipping it slightly. he didn’t know why he didn’t just tell changbin he was awake, but at the same time, he was curious as to why his friend was even in his room in the first place. why and how his friend was able to find some place to smoke. why his friend was even smoking to begin with.

 

some shuffling noises issued, some heavy breathing, until there was a slight pause. hyunjin could only hear his beating heart in the dead of night, anticipating what changbin will do next.

 

suddenly, hyunjin felt more noises of moving and his bed was dipping behind him, the younger now figuring out that changbin was moving closer to him. hyunjin tried not to make any noise, but by now he felt like he was going to burst from what was happening. he felt changbin’s smaller and warmer body move up against him over the blankets, and everything in hyunjin’s body seemed to untense. he wondered how changbin was able to make him feel relaxed that easily, but the beating in his heart never seemed to slow down.

 

hyunjin then felt an arm drape itself over his waist and he suddenly felt protected, all warm and fuzzy at the thought of changbin spooning him while also baked out of his mind. the taller opened his eyes slightly to look down at the hand holding him in place, and he couldn’t help but smile. he then felt changbin’s head move up against the back of his neck, and he didn’t know if he liked it or wanted to squeal from the action. hyunjin never thought he’d see changbin like this, cuddling up against him like they were more than just friends. something about this made hyunjin extremely happy, even more whipped for his friend than he was before. but the thought that changbin was just doing this because he was high made it a little less intimate than hyunjin wanted it to be. it’s not like hyunjin let that get to him as he was still cuddling changbin for all he cared. the thought of changbin doing this willingly made hyunjin feel many things, but his love for the older shined over them all.

 

“goodnight, hyunjin-ah.” changbin slurred against his back, moving a bit to feel more comfortable against his friend. hyunjin could feel every part of him, from his legs up to his chest, even the small pitter-pattering of changbin’s heart against his back. hyunjin was just so overwhelmed that he couldn’t help but take the hand wrapped around his waist into his own, holding it against him as he laced their fingers. he tried not to let his nerves get to him when he did that, but he was soon calmed down when changbin squeezed hyunjin back, rubbing circles with his thumb on the younger’s knuckles. hyunjin wanted to squeal, and it took everything in himself not to turn around and kiss the other like there was no tomorrow. again, hyunjin never thought he’d be so in love until now.

 

“goodnight, changbin.” he whispered back, and that was that.

 

——

 

of course, they didn’t speak about it the next morning.

 

and even though the older male woke up cuddled up against hyunjin, he didn’t say anything. he just got up from hyunjin’s bed like it was nothing. like they didn’t spend the whole night cuddled up against each other. or how in the morning, they were facing each other and hyunjin could probably count every eyelash on changbin’s eyes. hyunjin would like to say he felt disappointed, but he was almost relieved. relieved that changbin didn’t mention anything about the hand holding, or the very close position they were in. or even the fact that changbin even slept with him in the first place.

 

“morning, hyung.” hyunjin said, turning around to see his friend looking disheveled. and hyunjin, being the whipped person he was, thought changbin with ruffled up hair and droopy eyes was the cutest thing ever. and to top it all off, changbin only responded with the cutest little hum hyunjin ever heard. the younger male suddenly wanted to go over there ruffle changbin’s hair and pinch his cheeks, but then he realized how pathetic this little dilemma really was.

 

hyunjin would soon have to confront changbin, tomorrow to be exact, and still had no idea how he was going to do it.

 

hyunjin watched changbin rub his eyes a few times before humming again, sauntering his way towards the door.

 

“wait,” hyunjin interrupted, changbin’s halting in the doorway. the younger felt his heart stop for a moment. _what am i doing?_

 

“hm?” changbin scratched his head.

 

before hyunjin could stop himself, he blurted, “why’d you go out smoking last night?”

 

a brief moment of silence came after that, hyunjin feeling like his stomach was going to sink to the floor at the question. changbin’s eyes were now opening all the way and hyunjin felt like panicking.

 

changbin spoke. “how did you…” he hesitated, “how did you know about that?”

 

that was when hyunjin knew he was fucked. his mouth was hanging open like an idiot, searching for a response that wasn’t there. he was a _terrible_ liar, so what would he say to changbin? he’d just exposed himself and now the shorter male probably figured out that hyunjin was awake the whole time when he got home. hyunjin’s heart started to race.

 

“hyunjin?” changbin asked, hyunjin realizing he never responded. he felt himself becoming warmer and warmer from being nervous.

 

“uh,” hyunjin coughed, “seungmin told me…?”

 

a pause. hyunjin swallowed.

 

“was seungmin even awake when i got home? i don’t remember.” changbin squinted, and that’s when relief hit hyunjin like a boulder. he gladly assumed changbin forgot everything that happened last night.

 

“yeah,” hyunjin laughed it off, feeling heart begin to beat at a normal pace again. “he told me earlier this morning before he left for work while you were sleeping. i didn’t even know you were home until i woke up this morning!” he tried coming up with a lie that wouldn’t get him in trouble, even though if seungmin heard about this he’d expose hyunjin in a second.

 

“oh,” changbin laughed too, his beautiful smile now present. “well, i was just catching up with some of my old friends… y’know, the ones from high school?”

 

“oh yeah! i don’t remember their names though,” hyunjin tried swerving the conversation.

 

“honestly, after last night, i don’t think i remember them either.” changbin giggled at his own joke, turning back around to go to the bathroom. hyunjin couldn’t help but look at his friend’s body with longing eyes, wishing he could’ve cuddled with him longer. he sometimes forgot about how comfortable he felt around changbin.

 

and right before hyunjin was about to lean back against his bed in relief, changbin just had to catch him off guard once again, stopping at the doorway of the bathroom; “by the way, hyunjin, you’re really good at being the little spoon, just saying.”

 

_huh._

 

well, of course changbin had to say that. it was changbin. hyunjin was stupid to believe he got left in this situation off the hook. though, the growing blush in his cheeks was left unseen because changbin had already went into the bathroom. he felt like a huge idiot now.

 

and as a result, let’s just say hyunjin almost fainted from embarrassment at that, to put it simply. he now just hoped tomorrow wouldn’t come quicker than he thought it would.

 

——

 

tomorrow came _way_ quicker than hyunjin thought it would.

 

because right as the brunette was falling asleep that night, he realized that in less than twenty four hours, he’ll have to confess to seo changbin.  he cursed the world for making today so quick and uneventful, as it was sadly over in a snap. and now that he somehow managed to fall asleep that night, he woke up that morning in a sticky sweat and with a throbbing headache.

 

not to mention a raging hard-on. what a plot twist of the century!

 

now, morning wood wasn’t common to hyunjin and the male was surprised to wake up to a tent in his pants. he didn’t want to know where it came from, but a voice in the back of his mind told him it was something that had to do with changbin. he groaned to himself uncomfortably, looking at how his shorts were bunched up at his thighs.

 

then, there was a knock at his door.

 

“hey, hyunjin-ah,” speak of the devil, it was changbin. “i’m heading out for a few hours, just running some errands for seungmin. i’ll see you in a bit,” he said before his footsteps faded away from the door, and hyunjin was thankful the older male didn’t walk in on him.

 

hyunjin was now fully aware of how his boner uncomfortably felt restricted in his shorts, slightly disgusted at himself. hyunjin rarely ever got riled up in the morning, so something like this was usually unheard of. was he just nervous for later today? did he have a wet dream or something of that sort? he didn’t know. but he hoped the thought of confessing to changbin today would help calm it down.

 

cut to a few minutes later— it didn’t.

 

so hyunjin finally decided to do what any horny person would do, and that was masturbate while taking a nice, hot shower.

 

now, hyunjin would admit that he didn’t jack off as much as he used to, and maybe that’s why he felt so frustrated and heated this morning. he shifted uncomfortably as he stood up from his bed, pulling his shorts down his thighs. he felt the sweat from his shirt stick onto him like glue and he grimaced, wanting to get into the shower before anything got worse.

 

so, like anyone would, hwang hyunjin stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower to a hot setting. the brunette then looked in the mirror for any evidence of a wet dream, or something. fortunately, the brunette only saw his red-faced reflection and an erection, which was way more prominent now that he looked in the mirror. it throbbed agonizingly.

 

hyunjin then proceeded to peel his clothes off quickly, sighing as he stepped into the shower. the hot water droplets caused a shiver to run down his spine, the male realizing he hadn’t felt this aroused in a long time. and maybe that was why he felt his hole twitch slightly as he touched the head of his dick softly, getting straight to it. he bit his lip, only giving light strokes and tugs at his length to tease himself. he then grabbed the soap and began to wash his body, scratching at himself to get even more sensitive. he moaned quietly when he began to prod a finger against his hole, trying not to think of certain someone while performing these actions. and even though the brunette was in the shower, he still felt dirty.

 

hyunjin seemed to turn off all thoughts in his brain once he did this, using one hand to put shampoo in his hair while the other was circling his sensitive rim. the hot water was still causing shivers to go down his body, adding even more pleasure to the whole experience. he hissed quietly when he let the tip of his finger go past the rim, now forgetting about washing his hair to go stroke at his throbbing cock.

 

hyunjin began to wonder why he hadn’t done this before, because it honestly was starting to feel really good. he closed his eyes as water rolled down his face, his imagination getting the best of him when he slipped a finger all the way in his hole. hyunjin mewled to himself, a certain someone embarrassingly flashing into his brain.

 

“hyung,” he whined to himself, not even paying attention to the things coming out of his mouth at this point. he stroked himself harder, pumping the one finger in and out of his hole. changbin flashed in his mind again, and he couldn’t help but lean against the shower wall to help support himself. it suddenly felt hard to breathe, hyunjin adding a second finger as a way to feel more at ease. for some reason, thinking about changbin doing this to him made hyunjin get even closer to his climax before he even knew it.

 

the thought of changbin teasing him like this made hyunjin want to scream, the amount of things he’d do for the older was almost sad. he’d let changbin do whatever he wanted to him, and that made him hopeless. and he felt so pathetic as he fingered himself in the shower, just desperately realizing how much he wanted changbin to do this with him. to make him feel this much pleasure with just a few touches. he let out an embarrassing moan when his fingers finally reached his prostate, digging them into the spot in a rush to bring him over the edge.

 

and long story short, hyunjin came harshly on the shower wall while moaning changbin’s name. he never thought he’d be so glad that no one was home at the moment, and that changbin wasn’t there to hear any of it.

 

but when the older cake home a few hours later like he promised, that’s when hyunjin felt the panic build up from this week starting to take over his whole being.

 

not only because he masturbated to the thought of the older male earlier, but because he also had to confess soon. like, _now_ soon. it was when he heard the doorknob to their apartment jangle for a moment, when hyunjin almost jumped out of where he was seated on the couch. the anticipation to see changbin open that door overcame hyunjin, and the younger male started to feel his heartbeat quicken.

 

he didn’t know why all this stuff was coming so fast, it was like just yesterday was the day hyunjin saw changbin for the first time in two years. but sadly, it wasn’t that. maybe hyunjin was just having so much fun, or even paranoia, that this summer went by in the blink of an eye. he just didn’t know that this moment right now, the front door of his apartment building opening, was taking so long. it was like god was trying to mess with hyunjin and he didn’t like it one bit. he swallowed thickly, feeling his hands become clammy from his lap.

 

then, the door opened. it opened to changbin walking in, same nonchalant look on his face. little did the older know, he was about to get the confession of hyunjin’s dying love for him in a moment. well, _something like that._

 

“hey,” changbin brought the other back to reality, his voice making an appearance for the first time in a couple of hours. hyunjin couldn’t help but think for a moment of what he did that morning, changbin’s voice sounding different in a way, almost sultry. but he knew it was his imagination due to his sexual thoughts from earlier.

 

“hey,” hyunjin replied dryly, watching changbin make his way to the kitchen to drop off his stuff on the floor. he was wearing a black tee and grey sweats, nothing different from changbin’s usual style of clothing. hyunjin wondered why he was paying so much more attention to the other now rather than before today. he swallowed once again. “how’ve you been?” he asked dumbly.

 

and changbin must’ve agreed that it was dumb because he scoffed at the question. “going to one of the biggest malls in korea after not being here in years is stressful. i’ll tell you that.” a small laugh was shared between the two.

 

then it fell silent. hyunjin knew it was the perfect time to speak up now. he fought the thoughts in his head, contemplating on even confessing to begin with. his brain was trying to convince him that he didn’t have to tell changbin, that nothing would change if he didn’t say anything. but hyunjin _wanted_ things to change. he wanted to let changbin know how he felt about him this whole time and even longer than that, to let himself go for once. the thought of telling changbin how he felt for him made hyunjin feel like he was capable of being able to do so, and his gut was telling him that things would be okay in the end. so, what was there to worry about?

 

“i need to talk to you,” was unfortunately a sentence that was typically something you’d worry about. so, was hyunjin suddenly worried when he let those words slip out of his mouth? yes. and was changbin’s little furrow in his eyebrows as a response an expression of concern? maybe. “if you’re okay with that, i mean.” hyunjin tried to reassure the older, but he was more so reassuring himself.

 

changbin stopped in his unpacking and turned to hyunjin, nodding slowly. “i’ve got time,” he said, walking over to where the younger was sitting. hyunjin gulped, nervousness building up in his chest. he never thought he’d be so scared to look changbin in the eye, his best friend. he’d looked into those warm brown eyes numerous times and this was the only time he’d ever wanted to look away from them. he internally scolded at himself to get a grip and just say it, but the lump in his throat was blocking any words from coming out.

 

“i, uh…” hyunjin hesitated, biting his bottom lip. he felt the heat rush to his cheeks already. “sorry, i’m a little nervous.”

 

“it’s okay, take your time.” changbin leaned against the couch, watching hyunjin intently. it took the brunette a moment to make eye contact with the older, but once he did so, he had to leave it to his heart to do the talking for him. changbin’s eyes were so warm, welcoming. the older male looked expectant, but patient. hyunjin didn’t know he’d keep falling in love but something about the way changbin was so understanding with him made him fall in love all over again. he sighed shakily.

 

“i’ve been meaning to tell you this for a really long time now,” he paced himself, breathing deeply in and out. he didn’t want to cry, he dared himself not to cry. “and i don’t know if you already figured it out yet but…” he stopped to look at changbin one more time.

 

“but…” changbin repeated, a small smile forming on his face. hyunjin suddenly wanted to kiss him so bad, hoping it would let changbin know how he felt. but he couldn’t, he had to tell him straight up or he’d be disappointed in himself. he held his breath, feeling his heart race even faster. he then braced himself once again.

 

“i really, _really_ like you, changbin. like, i think i‘m in love with you and it’s really hard to say this because i’ve been hiding it for years and i’ve been meaning to tell you.” hyunjin rushed his words out, closing his eyes so that he wouldn’t see changbin’s reaction. he felt his voice shake by the end of his little rant, tears almost threatening his eyes. when changbin didn’t respond immediately, hyunjin continued.

 

“and when you came back this summer i saw how much you changed and i fell for you even more. you just look so different… but that’s a good thing! you’ve gotten really cool and hot and everything like that i guess, and i couldn’t help but want to be with you more…? i’m sorry, i’m saying too much right now but i hope you get how i feel. i’m really nervous while saying this and i really don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. if you don’t feel the same we can still be friends and forget this ever happened. but sometimes i just really want you to kiss me and do other things with me and i hope you’re okay with knowing that…”

 

hyunjin let his mouth run, not even fully aware of everything coming out of it. he felt like he was going to burst, knowing his face was redder than a tomato by now. saying this with his eyes closed wasn’t as hard as he thought it would’ve been, thankfully enough. but then he finally dared to open his eyes, and he saw changbin sitting there. his face was scarily blank other than the fact his eyebrows were raised. hyunjin felt his stomach sink to the floor. he didn't want to know what changbin was thinking, but by the way the raven haired male was looking at him, he knew he could’ve messed everything up between them.

 

“hyunjin… i,” changbin suddenly spoke, causing the younger to almost flinch in his seat. his heart was beating rapidly by now. “i don’t know what to say, other than the fact i’m glad you _finally_ told me.”

 

there was a slight pause, something about changbin’s words that didn’t sit right with hyunjin. he let the older keep talking.

 

“i didn’t know how clueless you were, either. i thought you knew how i felt about you too.” changbin said, looking into hyunjin’s eyes deeply. “i thought i made it pretty obvious, to be honest.”

 

“what?” hyunjin squeaked, his eyes becoming wider than saucers. changbin giggled.

 

“i want to kiss you too, hyunjin-ah. i want to do all those things you’ve been talking about because i’m also in love with you, alright,” changbin said, grabbing hyunjin’s softer hand and caressing it in his own. hyunjin felt like melting, not even processing every word coming out of changbin’s mouth. “i even tried initiating things with you before, and i thought you knew. well, now that you do, i just want want you to know i feel the same.”

 

“you do?” hyunjin asked quietly, like he was going to ruin the moment any second now. his heart was going to burst at the thought of changbin liking him too, and now that he knew for sure, it made his whole body feel light and fuzzy.

 

“yes, so go ahead and kiss me.” changbin leaned in, close enough so that their noses were only a few inches away from each other. hyunjin hesitated, his wide eyes meeting with changbin’s once again. “unless you want me to do it.”

 

“please,” hyunjin breathed out, already feeling like he was put in a trance.

 

and when it happened, it was everything hyunjin had expected over these past two months.

 

because when changbin’s warm lips met with his own, it felt like heaven. hyunjin felt his heart race at the speed of light, only reacting to their contact by shyly kissing back. this wasn’t like any other times hyunjin had kissed anyone, as changbin’s lips were small but plump, soft, and tasted like vanilla chapstick. it was perfect. hyunjin never thought he’d want to stop kissing changbin. and it was when the older placed a hand on hyunjin’s hip, other hand grabbing at his nape, the younger leaned in even closer to changbin’s touch. he then wrapped his arms over the shorter’s neck and began to angle their kisses differently, the raven haired male even starting to poke his tongue between hyunjin’s plush lips.

 

when hyunjin let him enter, changbin’s hand squeezing the younger’s hip slightly, hyunjin let the other have control. changbin stood the two of them up and began to back hyunjin up against the wall of the latter’s apartment, biting down on the younger’s lip. hyunjin couldn’t help but let out a small whine at that, changbin hotly grunting before releasing their lips.

 

“you’re so pretty, hyunjin.” changbin breathed out, eyeing the other hungrily. hyunjin blushed immensely, and even though changbin was shorter than him, he suddenly felt so small.

 

changbin then leaned back in to suck at the brunette’s neck, hyunjin feeling the heat between them grow even more as he placed his hands on the older’s wide shoulders. this was just escalating so quickly, that hyunjin didn’t even feel like this was really happening. changbin then responded to the touch by biting down on hyunjin’s neck, even placing his knee in between the younger’s legs. and once again, hyunjin was left to mewl quietly as changbin slipped his hands under hyunjin’s shirt.

 

he felt so helpless, nervous as changbin felt him up so that he was having goosebumps fall down his back. but it didn’t feel bad. it didn’t feel bad at all. it was just then hyunjin realized how much he liked feeling out of control when like this. additionally, the growing tent in his sweats was definitely confirming that.

 

once changbin was done sucking a lovely mark on hyunjin’s exposed neck, he moved his hand to the other’s backside and patted softly. “where can we take this?” he said lowly, making hyunjin want to squeak in his spot. he really hoped changbin didn’t notice how hard he was becoming.

 

“my room, now.” the taller didn’t mean for his voice to sound so high pitched, but maybe it was the fact he hadn’t said anything this whole time. thankfully changbin only responded by smirking, taking hyunjin’s oh-so delicate hand into his to go into his room.

 

hyunjin bit his lip as he watched changbin close the door, locking it. the younger eyed him with anticipating eyes, looking at the older’s wide shoulders and arms, his narrow torso, and admittedly his ass. and hyunjin wouldn’t like to admit it now but changbin had a cute butt for all he cared.

 

the older then turned around, walking towards hyunjin with a small smile on his face. hyunjin waited until changbin placed his hands under the other’s shirt once again, licking his lips. hyunjin wanted to shudder right there, changbin’s lidded eyes and red lips looking too irresistible, too intimidating in front of him. hyunjin moved in as well, keeping his bottom lip in between his teeth. he didn’t know what to say, only standing there like an idiot as he placed his hands around changbin’s neck.

 

“you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to do this,” changbin said in between kissing hyunjin’s lips and licking them slightly, the younger gripping onto the shorter’s back just a little tighter. hyunjin then felt something poking his thigh, eyes widening at what it could’ve been. changbin smiled smugly, kneeing hyunjin’s tent through his pants as well. “i’ve been thinking about you since i got here.”

 

it was then hyunjin’s turn to put one of his hands over changbin’s crotch, feeling the older’s erection also formed there. he looked surprisingly at him, not thinking that he would be this hard already as well. and maybe changbin wasn’t oblivious at all either, maybe he knew that hyunjin was lusting after him for months now. but he had no idea that changbin felt the same way for _him_ , though. hyunjin never thought he was this special— that this little crush on his best friend was just something that he dealt with. maybe changbin was just better at hiding it. and now hyunjin wished he’d told him how he felt sooner, rather than doing this right here and now, two days before his friend had to move back to australia.

 

“and i knew you liked me too,” changbin said when hyunjin didn’t respond, proving his thought. “i knew since the day i left korea. it took me a while to understand,” changbin kissed hyunjin’s lips tenderly, “but now i know why. you don’t even know how excited i was to see you.”

 

other than the fact that hyunjin wanted to cry on the spot, he felt like laughing at the fact that changbin was confessing right as they were practically rutting against each other. it was becoming hard to focus, as hyunjin felt his dick painfully throb against changbin’s thigh when the older talked. he moaned slightly, not able to produce words.

 

“and you’re so,” changbin hesitated, sitting down on the younger’s bed while also pulling hyunjin to straddle him on his lap. “so perfect. when i saw you at the airport that day, i didn’t know if i wanted you to suck my dick or kiss me.” changbin laughed, slightly embarrassed at his confession.

 

“fuck, bin.” hyunjin leaned his head down to kiss the other, finally speaking quietly. “you don’t know what you’ve done to me,” changbin’s breath hitched when he rolled his hips down on the older’s crotch slightly. “i’m so desperate for you.” he whispered.

 

“really?” changbin looked so hopeful, and it took everything in hyunjin not to coo. hyunjin never thought he’d coo at someone he’d also let blow his back out, but here he was.

 

“yeah,” he panted, then feeling changbin grip onto his ass as he leaned back against the headboard. he whined slightly at how satisfying the friction was between them.

 

“is it bad to say that i am too?” changbin placed his other hand on hyunjin’s ass and squeezed, bucking his hips up the slightest. it took all of his willpower for hyunjin not to fall weak above changbin. he bit his tongue to stop himself from saying something he’d regret.

 

but it was too late, because he’d already let a small ‘fuck me’ escape his lips as he ground down even harder on the older. he felt his heart stop for a moment when changbin groaned in response, bucking his hips up again, taking hyunjin’s lips against his own for a long kiss.

 

“anything for you,” the older said in between their kiss, slowly lifting hyunjin’s white tee over his head so that his top half was exposed. hyunjin shivered, sensitive from changbin’s touches, the older’s callous fingers going to rub hyunjin’s nipples.

 

their kiss disconnected with a smack and changbin raised his eyebrows at the sight of hyunjin’s body, biting his lip with hooded eyes.

 

“where’d you get this?” changbin asked, hyunjin fighting back a moan right when the older traced a finger down his stomach. he rested his index finger right above the metal piercing in hyunjin’s belly button, the younger watching him tug on it slightly.

 

“jisung dared me to get it around a year ago,” hyunjin explained, tracing his own hand down changbin’s clothed chest. “do you like it?”

 

“it’s hot,” changbin breathed, moving his head closer to hyunjin’s chest. he didn’t expect the older to start speaking again, though. “ever thought about getting these done?” he pressed one of his thumbs on hyunjin’s nipple, watching how the younger’s breath hitched from being sensitive.

 

“i don’t know,” he stuttered a response, brown hair blowing up from his heavy breathing. “do you have a thing for piercings?”

 

changbin began to kiss his chest, “maybe,” he breathed against him, hyunjin’s eyes struggling to stay open.

 

soon enough, changbin took off his shirt and let hyunjin drink in the sight, his toned arms and chest making a comeback. he even let the younger suck a few marks on his collarbones and even cursed little things to the younger, but that only made the erection in his pants feel even more painful.

 

it was when hyunjin got carried away, moving his kisses down changbin’s stomach to the waistband of his sweatpants, pawing at the older’s crotch like he needed it. when changbin asked if hyunjin wanted to see it, the younger may have nodded eagerly enough that the older laughed a little.

 

hyunjin pulled down changbin’s sweatpants slowly, heart racing as he saw the outline of the older’s cock from under his black boxers. it wasn’t what hyunjin was expecting, but he wasn’t upset with it at all. he licked his lips, palming the other’s dick a bit before pulling the boxers down. changbin’s hand was petting hyunjin’s head, the younger looking up to see changbin looking fondly at him. he couldn’t help but smile before taking the tip of changbin’s dick into his mouth while his hand was at the base.

 

it was average in size, but the girth of it didn’t compare to others hyunjin has seen. it was thick, probably something changbin was proud of, and it just made hyunjin’s mouth water even more. he kept eye contact with changbin as he traveled his tongue down the shaft and up again, wrapping his plush lips around the tip again and sucking lightly.

 

changbin already gripped softly onto the younger’s hair, wanting him to start bobbing his head. hyunjin moaned around the tip, complying almost immediately. he started bobbing his head halfway down changbin’s dick, the latter responding with a small moan. he bucked his hips slightly into hyunjin’s mouth, grip on his hair tighter. hyunjin groaned around changbin’s dick at the feeling, rutting his hips against the comforter of his bed.

 

“shit, hyunjin,” changbin moaned, starting to fuck up into his mouth the slightest. “your mouth feels so good.” he praised, letting hyunjin bob his head and hollow out his cheeks.

 

changbin’s dick twitched inside hyunjin’s mouth when he moved all the way down, his hand stroking the base of his cock to help. he felt the hand in his hair start to move his head up and down the shaft, tears threatening the corners of hyunjin’s eyes as he kept contact with changbin the whole time.

 

changbin’s breathing became erratic, small grunts and moans leaving his mouth that were music to hyunjin’s ears. he felt changbin twitch once again, hyunjin feeling drool dribble down his chin and tears fall down his face. even though he was having a hard time breathing now, he felt so good while sucking changbin’s dick.

 

“pull off,” changbin stuttered, letting go of hyunjin’s hair roughly as he squeezed his eyes shut. he cursed something out in english that hyunjin didn’t understand, and it took everything in him not to cum against the sheets while he pulled his head off of changbin’s dick with a slight pop.

 

hyunjin panted as he licked his swollen and shiny lips, moving to sit up and spread his legs apart. he was starting to feel needy, his dick not being touched by changbin yet, making him frustrated.

 

“fuck, hyunjin,” changbin cursed, pulling hyunjin closer to him and placing his thumb on the younger’s plump lip. hyunjin responded by licking the thumb, his cheeks flushed and tears making his eyes look even bigger. “you drive me crazy.” he laughed, hyunjin rasping out a few giggles before changbin pushed him down against the bed on his back.

 

“let’s get these off,” he stated before pulling hyunjin’s pants and briefs off at the same time, revealing the younger’s flushed dick that curled against his stomach. changbin licked his lips for the nth time, muttering out, “you don’t look too bad yourself, hwang.”

 

and hyunjin, being the pathetic male himself, responded with a whine. he bucked his hips up at the feeling of cold air hitting his dick, and he suddenly felt ten times more needy than he was before.

 

“let me get the lube and condoms, okay?” changbin bent down to kiss hyunjin once when the brunette replied with a nod, jutting out his bottom lip after changbin kissed him.

 

“i’m already prepped, bin.” he almost forgot to tell him, “i may have loosened up in the shower today. and by the way, the condoms are in the medicine cabinet by the mirror.” he reddened, but also informed.

 

changbin stopped in his tracks, ass naked, to look at hyunjin. a smile etched its way onto his lips, one that made the younger male’s body feel a million times lighter. _now is not the time to fall in love again_ , he told himself.

 

“you were that excited for me?” changbin raised a brow before walking into the bathroom right by, so hyunjin could talk to him from here.

 

“i mean, i wasn’t planning on having sex today, and you’re leaving soon so…” hyunjin tried not to think so much about changbin leaving.

 

“hey, don’t say that.” changbin came back out with a bottle and a foil package. he sat down on the bed with hyunjin still laying on his back. “so you were just masurbating in the shower?”

 

“i guess,” the younger was starting to feel more comfortable confessing, “i didn’t expect us to have sex, so i just did it myself.” he watched as changbin poured liquid from the bottle onto his fingers.

 

“are you glad we’re doing it now?”

 

“very.”

 

“good. now let’s just make sure you’re ready,” changbin responded quietly, smiling sweetly at hyunjin like he was an angel. and not to be cheesy, but hyunjin did feel like an angel like this.

 

and when a wet finger then prodded against hyunjin’s hole, he had to hold back a small yelp. his hole twitched eagerly, feeling more sensitive now that changbin was touching him. the shorter male circled the rim with his middle finger before inserting it inside, a slight burn overcoming hyunjin’s senses.

 

“i thought you said you prepped,” changbin chuckled, watching as hyunjin winced while he sat in between his legs.

 

“that was- _ah-_ hours ago.” hyunjin moaned, now getting used to the first finger being pumped in and out. it was when changbin added a second finger, the feeling of being stretched started to come back to mind.

 

“so pretty,” changbin cooed, scissoring the two fingers inside hyunjin like his life depended on it. hyunjin squirmed, bucked his hips, and tried his hardest to help changbin find his sweet spot. the spot that made hyunjin feel like he was floating on clouds. and when changbin inserted a third finger, that’s when it happened.

 

hyunjin let out a small whimper when changbin finally poked against his prostate, shuddering beneath him. changbin snickered.

 

“did i find your weakness?” he curled his fingers against it, hyunjin letting out an embarrassing moan at those words. he didn’t know changbin talked like this, let alone during sex. “feels good?”

 

“ _mm_ , yeah.” hyunjin mewled, feeling changbin pump his fingers in and out of his hole. he could let him do this for hours, but he didn’t want to admit that just now. “more,” he whined.

 

“calm down, hyunjin-ah.” changbin slowed down, “do you think you’re ready for me?” he took out his fingers, wiping them against his leg. hyunjin glanced at changbin, who was stroking himself with his free hand.

 

“please?” hyunjin pouted, hoping that would convince the older. changbin ruffled his hair once before cooing again.

 

“are you sure? i know this is like… a big deal for you.” changbin slowly smiled, making hyunjin want to lose his mind.

 

“please, hyung,” he whined, making a show of clenching his hole a few times. he felt so embarrassed at how he was acting so desperate and the fact that changbin was teasing him. it was their first time having sex, for god’s sake. “i want you so bad.”

 

“okay fine, but only because you asked nicely.” changbin smiled again, ripping the condom package with his teeth and rolling the latex over his hard dick. he squirted more than enough lube on his cock, muttering to himself. hyunjin didn’t catch what he said, but maybe he was speaking in english again.

 

“turn around,” changbin ordered, and hyunjin did as he was told. he got on his knees, his heart pounding at the position change. he didn’t know changbin liked being in this much control, let alone being this confident at sex. hyunjin felt a hand come down to hold one of his cheeks, and looked behind himself to see changbin lining his cock up at his entrance.

 

“please don’t go too hard yet,” hyunjin said, “i haven’t done this in a while.”

 

“don’t worry, hyunjin.” changbin stroked himself a bit, “just tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

 

hyunjin nodded, bracing himself for the next series of events.

 

changbin hissed as he slowly entered the head of his cock inside of hyunjin, hyunjin groaning at the feeling of his hole being stretched. changbin gradually inched his way in, gripping tight enough on hyunjin’s hips to surely leave marks. hyunjin felt himself clench around the older when he was finally all the way in, groaning lowly. “so good,” changbin groaned, not moving.

 

“don’t move yet,” hyunjin bit his lip, adjusting to the length that was in him. he arched his back just a little, feeling changbin then lean over his back.

 

a few moments pass before hyunjin felt like he was ready. he made sure changbin was too.

 

“i can move now?” changbin asked, slightly swiveling his hips. hyunjin let out a choked whimper at that, nodding his head frantically.

 

the older started off slow, pushing in and out of hyunjin’s tight heat, savoring the feeling. hyunjin leaned all his weight on his arms, biting his lip to suppress the painful groans threatening to escape. he didn’t want to start moaning like the whore he was so early on.

 

but then changbin bottomed out, moving a bit faster while also grabbing tightly onto hyunjin’s hips. that was also when changbin was just barely able to drive into the younger’s prostate, the brunette arching his back even farther at that. hyunjin almost screamed, the feeling becoming overwhelming as he moaned loudly.

 

“when did you become so flexible? _god_ , hyunjin.” changbin panted, bringing his hand down to lightly slap hyunjin’s backside, moving at a quicker pace. hyunjin cried in response.

 

hyunjin began to whine loudly as well, feeling his thighs and arms begin to wobble from changbin thrusting in and out of him. it hasn’t even been a full two minutes yet, but hyunjin already felt like a mess. hearing changbin’s grunts and pants in his ear made his arousal heighten even more.

 

“ _shit,_ binnie,” he moaned when changbin was able to angle his dick right at his prostate, “you feel so, so good. please go faster, _hyung_.” hyunjin babbled, unfinished sentences escaping his lips as changbin pounded even harder. he felt the older’s fingers even prod against his mouth as he whimpered, automatically taking them into his mouth and sucking.

 

“you’re getting so loud, hyunjinnie.” changbin stuttered out, giving a few harsh thrusts in between to get hyunjin almost crying, “you don’t want seungmin to hear you when he gets home, do you?”

 

but something about that made the younger feel even more hot and bothered. he cried out higher, pushing his hips back against changbin’s length before his arms collapsed against the bed. he didn’t even realize he fell until changbin laid over his back, slowly grinding his hips back in hyunjin’s heat. hyunjin’s hips were still being held up by the older’s hand, feeling the arch in his back go even farther with his ass in the air. he felt like this was torture, changbin pushing the younger’s head further into his mattress to suppress the tiny whines escaping his mouth.

 

“please, binnie.” he croaked out, but it was barely audible. “fuck me please.”

 

it took changbin a while to understand, _that little shit_ , but he complied ever so nicely.

 

“anything for you, hyunjin.” changbin repeated, kissing the skin on hyunjin’s back before going back to thrusting harshly into the taller. changbin groaned, hyunjin’s legs collapsing and beginning to rut against the bed again as he moaned the older’s name.

 

it was when hyunjin brought one of his hands behind his back to be held by changbin’s, that maybe this experience was more than just due to sexual frustration. maybe hyunjin was still blinded by the fact that he liked his best friend, more so fell in love with him. he felt the electricity between them when changbin held his hand back, even when the older was abusing his prostate for all he cared. but hyunjin then realized that he didn’t only want changbin to fuck him all this time, but he also wanted changbin to love him, be with him. and because of that, tears slowly started to roll down his cheeks, even though he was still aroused out of his mind.

 

he felt the sheets become wet with all of his spit and tears, but he didn’t care. he just was getting off to the thought of how soon changbin was going to leave him, how in less than two days, they’ll have to say goodbye to each other again. hyunjin realized how much he didn’t want that to happen, how he wanted to be with changbin for a long time. he cried so hard, and hoped changbin thought it was because his dick was too good, or something.

 

“fuck, _fuck_ , hyunjin.” changbin broke hyunjin’s thoughts by pulling out, cock still hard and red. “get up, ride me right now.”

 

this was all of a sudden, hyunjin immediately stopping the painful rutting against his bed and sitting up, grimacing at the emptiness of his hole. he wiped his tears, knowing he looked like a wreck. but at the way changbin looked at him, he didn’t feel that way. because changbin looked at him fondly, and his furrowed brows showed how he was concerned for the younger. if hyunjin’s heart didn’t explode before this, it did now.

 

but before the other could ask hyunjin if he was okay, the younger moved closer to him and pushed him down, crawling on top of him while sniffling. hyunjin knew he looked stupid, but he didn’t care.

 

and without a word, hyunjin lined changbin’s cock with his hole again and slammed his hips down, a soundless cry escaping his lips. changbin moaned, hyunjin beginning to grind down on his length harshly as more tears fell down his face.

 

changbin still couldn’t get over the fact his best friend was crying, but he looked so beautiful above him. his face and chest flushed, body perfectly arched as his dick leaked against his tummy. it took everything for changbin not to cum right there, but he held it for hyunjin. he then grabbed the younger’s hips and lifted his knees, thrusting up deeper into hyunjin more than before.

 

hyunjin’s pretty cries began to fill the room once again, him not even bothering to cover his mouth. his eyes were squeezed shut and tears were falling down his face, using his free hand to start jerking himself off. changbin felt his pace become uneven, his dick beginning to twitch inside of hyunjin.

 

“hyung, i can’t.” hyunjin whined, wordlessly falling against changbin’s chest. the older moaned when he felt his dick twitch inside of the other, coming close to his orgasm. hyunjin fell weak, gripping changbin’s shoulders. “hyung,” he repeated, desperate.

 

“i’m gonna come,” changbin stuttered, realizing he said it in english. changbin could feel the younger’s dick squished between them, precome leaking from it.

 

“what?” hyunjin asked, seemingly lost out of his mind.

 

“i’m gonna come, hyunjin.” changbin moaned into the younger’s ear, feeling hyunjin become limp against him.

 

“me too,” hyunjin stuttered a moan against his skin, driving changbin even closer to his climax. he then made sure to drive against hyunjin’s prostate, the younger’s moans becoming even more high pitched and choppy than before. the sound of the brunette sounding so helpless brought changbin over the edge, groaning loudly as he slammed his hips against hyunjin one more time, spilling into the condom. he rode out his orgasm, waiting for hyunjin to cum as well. when he heard the male on top of him soon whimper his name brokenly against his shoulder, feeling hyunjin’s cum spurt onto his stomach, he knew it was safe to let go.

 

changbin slowly let his legs fall against the bed, panting heavily from their activities. he winced when he pulled his oversensitive dick out of hyunjin, rolling off the condom and tying it. he threw it on the floor, making a reminder to himself to put it in the trash in the bathroom. he laid there, rubbing soft circles on hyunjin’s back while the younger recovered. changbin felt hyunjin’s soft lips trace his shoulder as their chests heaved together, and the younger never wanted to leave this position. him straddling his best friend while laying against his body.

 

but then changbin suddenly felt like he was suffocating under hyunjin, patting the male’s ass as he wanted to get up. hyunjin must’ve forgotten that he was bigger than changbin.

 

“you good?” changbin rasped, the buzzing feeling from their activities leaving his head slowly. he just wanted to get his sweaty body in the shower. perhaps a shower with hyunjin didn’t sound too bad either.

 

hyunjin sniffled in response, humming against changbin’s shoulder. hyunjin nipped at the skin and sucked softly, savoring this moment. he was still pretty shaken up from what happened before.

 

“hey,” changbin rubbed his back, “what’s with all this?”

 

hyunjin didn’t expect to respond right away. “i’m scared, binnie.”

 

“hm? scared of what?” changbin put on that caring voice, the one voice that could probably bring poor hyunjin to tears again.

 

“of the future,” he sniffed, moving his head up to meet eyes with changbin. he saw changbin’s slightly confused expression and suddenly wanted to kiss him, kiss him until he couldn’t anymore. “i don’t want you to go, bin.”

 

changbin stared at hyunjin for a long time.

 

“i don’t know what you mean by that,” changbin finally said, bringing his hand up to caress hyunjin’s wet cheek. “i’m not going anywhere.”

 

“but you are,” hyunjin sniffled, resting his head against the older’s bare chest, “you’re going back to australia.”

 

“yeah, but only for three months!” changbin said like hyunjin knew this all along. “i thought i told you that felix, chris, and i are moving back to korea in december.”

 

hyunjin felt his heart skip a beat. “what?”

 

“can we talk about this after we shower? i’m sorry, hyunjin, but your cum is all over my stomach and i don’t want it to dry.” changbin said softly, moving his thumb to then caress hyunjin’s lips.

 

“oh,” the younger sheepishly responded, realizing their situation. “yeah, but you never told me you were moving back to korea.” he was a little embarrassed now that he realized he was overreacting quite a lot, maybe even a bit upset.

 

“is that why you were crying?” changbin began to sit up when hyunjin got off him, and hyunjin couldn’t help but stare. if this wasn’t whipped culture, he didn’t know what was.

 

“maybe,” hyunjin blushed, completely embarrassed now. “did i overdo it?”

 

“you’re so cute,” the older exclaimed, moving in to kiss hyunjin on the lips tenderly. he didn’t necessarily answer hyunjin’s question, but it didn’t matter. the kiss felt so natural now, that hyunjin didn’t know how to feel about how their _friend_ ship was going. “but no. i kinda feel bad that i didn’t tell you i was moving back. i think i was gonna surprise you or some shit.”

 

“well, it’s too late now.” hyunjin stood up, wincing at the feeling of his backside. “i’m really mad at you.”

 

“it doesn’t look like you are,” changbin retorted, seeing how there was a big smile taking over the younger’s face. “looks like you’re just happy to see me.”

 

“i always am, dumbass.” hyunjin said before connecting their lips once again, blindly making their way to the bathroom next door. and in that moment, seungmin had opened the front door along with four other friends. they definitely had a sight coming for them.

 

and the embarrassed look on hyunjin’s face was priceless when seungmin said “i told you so” when him and changbin walked into the living room. but changbin quickly backed them both up, sort of.

 

“don’t worry, i already asked hyunjin to be my boyfriend before all of this started.” he claimed, and before hyunjin could object, changbin covered his mouth quickly with his hand while saying, “he’s just surprised to see you all here, is all.”

 

seungmin responded with just a shrug, sitting back down with their friends all by the television.

 

the look hyunjin gave changbin next was again, priceless, the shorter snickering as he led hyunjin to another room.

 

“you never asked me to be your boyfriend!” the taller whisper-shouted, shock never leaving his face.

 

“you’re right, but i wasn’t kidding.” changbin defended himself, placing his hand over his heart. “i may want you to be my boyfriend, but only if you’re comfortable with that.” he looked away.

 

the next look hyunjin gave him had his eyes almost popping out of his head. he looked at changbin like he was joking. “you’re joking, right?”

 

“why would i be? we literally just had sex and confessed our feelings to each other. why would you think i’m joking, hyunjin?” changbin scoffed, his bangs flying up a little bit when he huffed. hyunjin might’ve thought that was the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

 

“okay, you’re right. but i’m surprised you came up with _that_ excuse.” the brunette raised his brows, placing his hands on his hips.

 

“it shouldn’t be a big deal, because i know you knew i was going to ask you soon enough.” changbin rolled his eyes.

 

“yeah,” hyunjin smiled, leaning down to then press his forehead against the latter’s. “you’re right again.”

 

“so, i guess that means one thing.” changbin wiggled his eyebrows like the idiot he was, making hyunjin want to slap him, but also kiss him at the same time.

 

“hwang hyunjin, would you to do the honor of being my boyfriend?”

 

and the way hyunjin kissed him after that— he couldn’t imagine himself saying no to that ever.

  


**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry for this shitfest, but here are some little hcs i made for these two that i won’t bother putting in bc it will make this fic too long and i don’t wanna make a sequel:
> 
> \- they switch, bc changbin can bottom too and they’re both switches (but hyunjin is a sub lean don’t @ me)  
> \- changbin took hyunjin out on a date the day before he left :,)  
> \- i kinda hinted that changbin has a lot of sex in australia, typically anal so that’s why he’s so good for hyunjin  
> \- felix and chan taught him a few things ;)  
> \- if i ever make a sequel it’s prolly gonna be changbin or chan centric?? maybe in australia too when changbin stays there for two years, since there’s not a lot you know about how those two years went. like how changbin became so masculine or even his relationship with chan and felix :0  
> \- but anyways thank you for reading and i’m sorry it’s bad ily all and i’ll try to write more this summer but there’s no promises


End file.
